This winter break @druinok is organizing a blog challenge. I don't think I'll be accomplishing the 12 posts over the break, especially since I'm already on day 7 of a 10 day break and am just getting around to posting the first blog, but I do love a good blog prompt. You can find more info here if you'd like to join in the fun.
The first prompt that spoke to me was "What are your strategies to reach 'that kid.'" I'm a big fan of using Love and Logic with my classes. I've never been able to make it to an official training session, but would love to one day. I've just gather some tidbits by talking to other teachers who have gone through the training and by reading some of the free online resources. Here are some of my favorite Love and Logic strategies. All of them help in dealing with all students, including the more difficult ones.
First: Neutralize arguing by going "Brain Dead." This means that you need to be able to separate yourself from the argument that the student wants to start. I'm sure most teachers have been sucked into a disagreement with a student where they attempted to reason with an overly emotional student. There is no point to engaging with a student that is too upset to be able hear you. I often tell students in this state that I'll check back on them soon so that we can chat while we are both calm.
Second: Show empathy before delivering a consequence. I use some of the Love and Logic one liners for this. There some that work for me and many others that I can not use without sounding sarcastic. You need to pick the ones that you can deliver while sounding genuine. Here are some of my go to phrases:
"I know."
"Probably so."
"What do you think you are going to do?"
"I bet it feels that way."
"Bummer."
"That's an option."
I find that phrases like these help a student to feel heard. Sometimes students become argumentative or upset because they feel like they don't have control and that no one is listening. I try to listen and solicit/offer choices.
Third: Sharing control by offering choices. I try to offer students a choice when and can. Usually it is a choice that I don't care which option they choose. For example, they could pick either the evens or the odds for a classwork assignment. Or they could choose the order in which to complete a series of tasks.
I also try to allow students to choose how they might solve their own problems. For example, when a student tells me they forgot their (pencil, calculator, textbook, notebook, etc) I ask them what they could do about it. The student almost always has a good suggestion. They might ask to use a calculator app on their school issued 1-1 device or suggest taking a picture of a neighbor's textbook page. I find that kids feel empowered when they can solve their own problems. I like knowing that I am helping them develop the skills they will need to be independent learners.
Fourth, and my favorite, the anticipatory consequence. When I catch a student cheating, or making some other bad choice, I delay the consequence. Obviously this would not be an option for a more serious situation where some damage could be done by waiting (a fight perhaps) but most of the time, I find this strategy to be appropriate and effective. By delaying the consequence, I allow the student to think about what they have done. I find that they are less likely to make the same bad choice again after they have had ample time to reflect on their actions. My go to response in this situation is something like "Bummer, I'm going to have to do something about this, but I'm not sure what. I need some time to think about it. I'll get back to you. Try not to worry." Later, I'll often ask the student what they feel would be a fair consequence. Again, they are almost always spot on and often even more strict than I would have been.
I hope that you have found some new ideas here. I personally want to learn more about Love and Logic for my classroom and I know I'll find other cool ideas through your posts as well :)
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